hands in heart shapeLove.
Some feel that love is the greatest power in the universe. I’ve been reading a fascinating book by neurosurgeon, Dr. Eben Alexander, entitled Proof of Heaven. Alexander is an experienced medical doctor who has heard many near death experiences (NDE’s) from his own patients, but had always dismissed them as brain-induced fantasies. That is, until he almost died from bacterial meningitis and fell into a coma for seven days and had his own NDE. How does he best describe the message and the power that is awash in the universe outside of mortality?


I believe that pornography is the opposite or antithesis of love. The young people over at Fight the New Drug are passionate about this message as well. Pornography, “kills [love]. It gives us false expectations, distorts our view of healthy sexuality, rewires our brains, and changes how we view other human beings.” Pornography, or lust, is often peddled for love. Some psychologists even recommend that couples who are struggling with their relationship watch porn. Honestly? They don’t have a clue. Porn doesn’t help build a relationship; it tears it down.

don't break my heartLove vs. Porn
Fight the New Drug made this comparison in their post Love vs. Porn:
Porn is:

  • Fake
  • Selfish
  • Degrading
  • Ugly
  • Demanding

Love is:

  • Real
  • Selfless
  • Uplifting
  • Beautiful
  • Giving

whats the big deal about pornographyPart of the reason pornography is so anti-love is because it teaches viewers to objectify other human beings. Dr. Jill Manning in her book (which I highly recommend!) What’s the Big Deal about Pornography? describes this process: “Pornography encourages people to be less sensitive and respectful toward others because it treats people like objects who simply exist to satisfy another person’s sexual urges or desires.”

She concludes that:

“When humans begin to objectify other humans, we lose part of our humanity and diminish our divine ability to love and care for others.”

Teaching kids what love is and what it is not will help them recognize that porn is not about love. It’s about exploitation or using others for selfish reasons.

So what lessons about love can you teach your kids to help them reject porn? Here are a few ideas; they may sound basic, but kids need to learn them.

  1. cute-kidWhen you treat others with love, you feel happy. It’s true! Helping someone else is the quickest way to fill our happiness bucket! Helping someone feel happy and loved is a special power we all have.
  2. When you love another person, you try to help them, not hurt them. Pornography is filled with violence, especially towards women. Porn stars act as though they enjoy being treated with disrespect or even physically tortured, but this is a lie. No one likes to be hurt.
  3. When you love someone, you care about their feelings. Everyone has feelings inside. Watching pornography can make people less sensitive to the feelings of others.
  4. If you love someone, you try to be fair. Kids have an almost divine sense of fairness. When something isn’t “fair” they hate it! Capitalize on their heightened sense of fairness by explaining that watching pornography is like voting for it. Is it fair to watch others doing something that they wouldn’t want their sisters or mom or aunt to do?

mom talking with 11 year old sonKids can learn from a young age the basis for learning to love others. They can also learn that pornography does not promote or teach love. Pointing this out will help kids reject pornography when they see it.

What other lessons about love can we teach our kids? I’d love to read your ideas! Thanks!

Kristen Jenson
Kristen A. Jenson is the founder of Protect Young Minds and author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids. Kristen enjoys speaking, writing and anything else that will help empower kids to reject pornography. Kristen earned a bachelor’s degree in English Literature, and a master’s degree in Organizational Communication. Kristen currently lives with her husband in Washington State, where she enjoys growing a vegetable garden, watching Masterpiece Theater, and taking long walks with friends who tolerate her incessant talking about you know what. Above all else, her husband and three children are her greatest treasures.